I love having a baby in the house. And I love my outspoken, vivacious toddler. Yet there are days when the two just don't mix. When you add a sleep deprived mommy to the mix things can get ugly. I have to keep repeating my mantra- peace, patience, love and kindness. For these are the traits I want to instill in my children. Not anger and frustration, which are quick to rear their ugly heads in moments of distress.
Last night Easton was having a moment... that lasted for four hours. He was an angry little thing and nothing would console him. I tried swinging, rocking, bouncing and exhausted every baby gadget my house contains, but nothing was cutting it. He was diagnosed with a double ear infection last week so I wasn't sure if that was still an issue or if we were fighting a new battle.
Needless to say, Emma's bedtime routine was lacking. It's hard to calmly read books and sing songs over the wails of an infant. She wasn't happy with the way things were going and didn't mince words about it. I was told I was 'ruining her life' (thanks so much for that line, awful Barbie movie!). While I know she doesn't have a clear understanding of the meaning of her words, it reminds me how important one-on-one time with her is.
She needs daily reassurance that she is still my little love and nothing can ever replace her. While we love Easton to pieces and can't imagine life without him he has certainly changed our world. It has been an adjustment, but probably has affected miss Emma the most. I'll admit when she acts out I don't always have the right reaction to her behavior. This is where that mantra comes in :)
I struggle with the daily changes in our life too. My house used to be clean and organized. Leaving the house didn't seem like such a chore. There is no schedule. I find some days just blur into the next and I'm left wondering if it's Tuesday or Wednesday. There are times I'm lucky if I get my contacts in and out of my sweats before the hubby comes home.
Yet I'm constantly reminding myself that these days are fleeting. One day I'll miss that stubborn little toddler of mine who wants to do everything her way. There will be no more dance parties in our jammies with Emma in a little tutu doing her own interpretive dance. No cuddling on the couch to read stories together. Those late night feedings that allow me precious, uninterrupted cuddle time with my little man will be gone.
Thank you Lord for every day you grant us- each one is to be treasured, regardless of spit up and temper tantrums. sleepless nights and whiny munchkins!
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